New Year

It's hard to believe another year is almost gone. It seems like yesterday we were in Disney World and now the year is over. We made it through another Christmas without Jerry. This one was harder for me than last year. I think because this year I realize he's not coming back. Last year I could still pretend he was in Iraq - there's no pretending now. What will the new year bring? Based on past experiences there will be some good things and some not so good things. If you don't experience some bad times then you don't know about the good times. My best friend lives in Pittsburgh and is going to have open heart surgery, probably in February. I talked to her today and she didn't sound like herself. She has so much going on in her life without facing surgery that I think this is all too much for her. Her mother-in-law is in a nursing home and my friend spends most of her time there. Her mother-in-law has a pacemaker and it has malfunctioned. It shocks her heart when she doesn't need it. They had to decide to have her operated on and have it replaced or have the device disconnected. The cardio surgeon didn't think an operation at her age would go well and he told them either way they would blame themselves. If they decided to have the operation and she didn't make it (which was the surgeon's opinion) they would feel guilty and if they didn't have the operation and something happens they will feel guilty. It's a no win situation. I will go to Pittsburgh when my friend has her surgery. If anything would happen to her and I didn't get to see her I would be devastated. So I will go and pray that things go well. When I talked to her we talked about the new year and she said she hoped that the coming year would be better than this one. I don't know. I think when you get to be our age all you can hope for is that the new year is not worse than this one. The only thing I really hope for is that my family and friends stay well and healthy. So for all of you Happy New Year. I love you all!

"Everything's a thing"

This is a quote my brother, Bill, is quite fond of, and is usually correct. Nothing is simple. Here was the plan....go to Texarkana to get a gift I needed. While there have Cee Cee groomed. Called PetSmart since they are right in the area and asked for an appointment for today. No problem they can do her at 4:30. So far so good...except they need to have a current rabies certificate, which I don't have. So call the vet and see if I can get a rabies shot for her on the way to Texarkana. Okay bring her in. I get her the shot and then off we go to Texarkana. Now, it being the week before Christmas traffic is crazier than usual and of course I miss the turn into PetSmart. So I turn around and go back only to almost miss it again and nearly get rear ended getting into the place. Get in, take her to the back, tell them how I want her and ask when I can pick her up I need to go to the mall and Target. It is now about 4:30. No problem they say. She will be ready at 7:00. Two and a half hours to groom her???? She's the only dog there. How can is possibly take that long. Well it just does. Okay, I'll go to the mall and then kill some time in Target. As I am pulling out to go to the mall I make a turn and hear this gosh awful sound coming from my left front tire. Now, for those that don't know, I already don't have heat in my car so this thing with the tire has me in a bit of a panic..okay it puts me in a lot of a panic. So I pull into a parking place thinking I have blown a tire. That is exactly what it sounded like. I ran over something and it popped my tire. I sit there trying to decide what to do. Can I change a tire?mmmm maybe. Should I call someone to help me? Who do I call? It is freezing out and raining. Okay, let me get out and look at the damage. Well low and behold I had run over a box with some Styrofoam packing in it and it was caught under my car and being dragged by my tire. So I stand in the cold and the rain fighting with this thing to get it out from under my car and away from my tire. That done I continue on to the mall. For some reason I think they have a Things Remembered there and I am looking for something to have engraved. No such luck. Things Remembered is gone. So..change of plans and look for something else. I find a few things I like and will work for the gift I need. So I get them and head off to Target. Did I tell you traffic is a nightmare, and I don't do well in the dark?? So I make it back to Target, get a cart and just start looking around. Now if you know me you know the first place I go is electronics for Tyler and then toys for Emily. I find somethings that catch my fancy, but I don't know if someone has already gotten them. So I call Dave and Shan's house. Not home...okay call Shan's cell...no answer..okay call Dave's cell..no answer so I am on my own. Finish up in Target and head back to get Cee Cee. Now they have cut her a little shorter than I wanted (it is winter, freezing and raining out) so I buy her a coat since it is so cold out and I don't have heat in my car. I don't even what to tell ya what my bill in PetSmart was. Suffice to say I won't be going there again. Finally we are on the road home when my cell rings. It's Shan. Hey ya called. Yeah where are you? Just coming out of Tyler's basketball game. Oh crap!!! I missed his game. I missed the last one and I promised him I would not miss this one. He even made me repeat the date so I would remember. Did I???? NO!!!! So now I feel like a crummy grandma. I know this is all me and I complicate things more than they need to be. I'm sure there is an easy answer to all this. I need to stop running around with ten thousand things in my head and concentrate on one at a time since that seems to be all I can handle these days. I hate getting old. I used to be able to remember many things and do them all. Now I can't even remember my favorite grandson has a game! Honestly I think it was easier before because I had Jerry to help me keep track of things and now I don't have him. I seem to be saying to myself "If I just get through this, I can go on to the next thing and then if I just can get through that I can go on to the next thing, and then if I can get through that.....and on and on it goes. And since I am whining so much here's one more. I have had this ache in my left shoulder blade for three days now. It is sapping what strength I have and taking up half of my thought process. I know...I know...call the doc. See what it is. If I can just get through this I will call him and on it goes.......

A first

I have been reading the Twilight books and so decided I wanted to see the movie. Tyler was going with me, but it really is a chick flick so I didn't make him. I went by myself. A first. I don't think I have every gone to a movie alone. It was okay. I enjoyed the movie (not as good as the book, but they never are). However, if some day you find I have disappeared know that I am happy and with Edward. You'll have to read the book to understand. But I was actually feeling pretty good about myself. I kinda saw this a a step forward. Going by myself. And since my monitor went out on Tuesday and I was in Texarkana I went to Best Buy and got me a new one. Funny how we get so dependent on technology that not have a monitor for a few days made me feel like I was out of touch with the world. So I got me a big ol' 22 incher. I could watch TV on this thing. And the blower went out on my car - so no heat. Going to have that looked at on Monday! Like my brother says...Everything's a thing! Thank you Dave for hooking up the monitor. Two more week to Christmas. This one seems harder for me than the last one. Don't know why. I just can't get my mind wrapped around the whole thing. I always have my cards done by now, and the boxes mailed to Pittsburgh. The boxes are ready, but I have no drive to get them mailed, or to do the cards. Maybe because last year was so new and I was still pretending Jerry was coming back and this year I know he is not. I'll let the shrink figure that one out!