I killed the doctor 4 times over

Okay - not literally. Those of you that know me will not find what I am about to say strange in the least. About a week ago I began to experience an odd sensation. I would take two or three bites of something and I would feel so full I was uncomfortable. So, naturally I knew I had stomach cancer. Made an appointment with my gastro guy to have an Endoscope done. Now, they put you sleep for this so you need to have someone with you to drive home. My knightess in white armour, Shan, will take me. On Tuesday off we go. I have to be there at 7 a.m. so we leave the house at 6:15a.m. Get there, get checked in and taken back to a room. I put on the gown and the nurse comes in to hook up the IV so they can administer the sleeping drugs. My procedure was scheduled for 8 - yeah right!!! Finally about 10 they take me back. Now I had made Shan promise that if I came back to the room sleeping she was to wake me up. I could sleep in the van on the way home and sleep more at home. I did not want to waste her time sitting there watching me sleep. Back in the procedure room the hook me up to a heart monitor and blood pressure. In the IV the nurse gives me 2 units of whatever drug of the day they are using for putting people to sleep. A few minutes later she comes to see if I'm sleeping - I'm not. Not even drowsy. She turns to the doc and he says to give me 2 more. She does. Same result - nothing. She turns to the doc again this time he tells her to give me 4 units of the drug. She does and nothing. At this point I can tell she is a little befuddled. She calls the doc's name one more time and he says give her 10 of Demoral. She does and once again nothing. Now they decide to squirt this horrid tasting stuff into my mouth, ask me to swish it around and swallow it. YUCK and DOUBLE YUCK! I do. They then turn me on my side and put this round doughnut-like thing in my mount and tie it around me head. Doc then proceeds to insert tube into my throat. Not bad the yucky stuff has numbed my mouth and part of my throat. So far so good. Then he gets to the part that has not been numbed and I can feel the tube going down. Natural reflex is to swallow which I do and they keep encouraging me to swallow. Now I can feel him poking around in my stomach and I'm thinking - I'm going to throw up. How do I tell them I am going to throw up. I have a doughnut in my mouth - can't talk and my hands are tied to the blood pressure machine and the IV pole. So, I calm myself down, breath slowly and finally it's over. They then unhook me from the blood pressure and take me back to me room. Not long after I arrive the good doc appears. He tells Shan, "I gave her enough drugs to kill me 4 times over and look at her. Not a bit sleepy." "Yeah," says Shan, "She takes a lot of medicine." So long story short I don't have stomach cancer, which the doc also told Shan and she again said she knew I didn't. But, what I do have is a nerve that comes into play when you have lap-band surgery. This nerve after the surgery quivers sending a message to the brain that you are full and stop eating, which is how people that have this surgery lose weight. I have never had this surgery, however, my little nerve has decided to quiver on it's on. Now I'm thinking, hey this might not be a bad thing...the benefit without the surgery. Anyway he told me to take Prilosec and it should calm the nerve and I would be fine. Now I find myself in a bit of a quandary - I need to have a colonoscopy, however, if the drugs they use do not work to put me to sleep then no deal. I have had two of them and I woke up in the middle of the first one and I NEVER want that again. So he and I will talk and decide what to do from there. Is that the end????of course not, remember who is typing this. On Thursday Dave takes me to Little Rock for the steroid injection in my back. We are to be there at 10:30, they will medicate me and I will have the injection at 11:30. Right lady, if all the meds I had on Tuesday didn't do anything why do you thing your little ol' Zanax will. So 11:30 comes and goes. 12:00 comes and goes. Finally I go up to the desk and ask when will it be my turn. Oh, she is sorry, the doc just went into surgery. It will be about another hour. WHAT. Okay, I return to my seat, Dave is playing on his mini laptop and he gives me his phone to play some games to amuse myself. Finally they call me. Put me on the table. The nurse rubs my back with sterile stuff and in comes the doc. The nurse tells him who I am and what I am there for. He walks over to the table. Tells me okay bee sting. YIKES - no kidding. He then proceeds to inject me twice more with whatever, and out the door he goes. We have been there since 10:30 it is now around 1:30 the man was not in the room - I kid you not - 15 seconds - not minutes - seconds! Then we leave there, go next door where they put me in a room. Put a medicated patch on my back and have my lie on HOT towels. Finally a little after 2 we get to leave. Now you can not eat before this procedure. I don't know why. They are not putting me to sleep - couldn't if they wanted to. To say Dave and I are starving in putting it mildly. So off to Arby's we go. Love to eat there and since we don't have one around here we don't eat there often so that was a treat. So now I wait two weeks to see if the injection helps, if not I go back for another - all I can say is DON'T GET OLD. Now if you want to read a really funny story about this go to Dave's blog and read his description of Shan talking to him about my Endoscope. To say he was a little confused it putting it mildly, but it does make for a great read. So enjoy! On a little sadder note, my best friend of 30 years has to have open heart surgery. She had a cath done on Friday and it turned out to be worse than they thought. Not only is the carotid valve gone and will have to be replaced, the mytro valve has prolapsed and will have to be repaired or replaced. They won't know until they open her up. I can not even begin to explain how scared I am for her. We are so close that her husband refers to us as sisters and that is how I feel about her. She is family and I love her. Please keep good thoughts for her. As soon as we get a surgery date I will be flying to Pittsburgh to be with her.