A little freaked out

First, thank you David for your comments and hints. They really help. I am a little freaked out today since I will be starting my CNA classes tomorrow. Not knowing what to expect and all. I probably would not be doing this if Jerry were still alive, but I can't help wishing he were here to see this. He would be so proud! These are the especially tough times. When there is something I want so badly to share with him and can't. The last one was when Shan passed her National Teaching Certification. I ran to the room to e-mail him and then remembered I couldn't. That was just devastating. I know there more of those things as I sit here typing this with the tears running down my face missing him so much. Sometimes I think one of the things that hurts the most is knowing all the things he is missing. Tyler's first home run. Emily's first T-Ball game of the year. Her graduation from kindergarten. I want so much to share these with him and joy they bring. When we talked about moving here that was one of the things we talked about most. Being here to see all the things the grandkids do and I HATE that he is not here to enjoy them with me. I love you, Jerry.