What to say?

I'm not sure what I want to say. I am back in therapy, but not sure about the therapist. I loved Carol and I know it's not fair to compare one to the other, but this one is no Carol. She's the one that does most of the talking instead of letting me talk things out the way Carol did. I'm not sure where I should be in the grief process. I don't feel I've moved much from the way I was when Jerry died April 28, 2007. The lonelyness is over whelming. This may come from never have lived on my own. Going from living with my parents to living with Jerry. Coming home to an empty house, eating alone every night is horrid. I know I've said all these things before and that only reenforces the fact that I have not moved forward. I am stuck in this time warp and am hoping Brenda can help me out of it. Dealing with the after effects of the surgery does not help. My OCD kicks in hard when it comes to that. I have to take my meds at exactly the right time or I get a hugh anxiety attack. This happens when I'm out somewhere, for example, when we were on vacation in DC or when I go to Hot Springs. At Brian and Carla's this doesn't happen as often since we are rarely out past the time I take my meds which is around 7 p.m. I actually think I just wait for that time of the day when I can take my meds, especially my sleeping pill. I don't know why, but I love to take my pills and then fall asleep on the couch. Sometimes I sleep there until 1 in the morning and then get up and go to the bed. I wake up around 6 so my day seems long to me. I have no where to go and no one to go with. No one comes here. If I want to see them I go there. My finances are a worry. I make enough to pay my bills, but that's about all. Going on vacation was hard on the finances, but I felt I needed to get away. This is not the life I planned. I never thought I would need to be working at 63 but I here I am. These are all the things I need to talk to Brenda about. Hopefully when I see her again I can and she can give me some insight.