Take the good with the bad

On the good - Casey and Vanessa had their baby on Wednesday. The little bugger would not turn so they had to do a c-section. He is 7 pounds 19 inches and his name is Samuel Thomas - great name! I love my family and am so thankful I get to share in all the life experiences a family has. On the bad - David had oral surgery on two teeth on Friday so he's been in some pain. However, story of him after the surgery and on the way home will have you falling on the floor laughing when Shan tells it. That girl can tell a story! Speaking of falling on the floor I did that again. I got sick on the way home from the hospital (after Samuel was born). We had stopped at Wal-Mart so Shan could print some pictures of Samuel for her mom, sister and her to take to work. I stayed in the car with the kids. I suddenly got so hot I though I was going to have to take all my clothes off. Emily helped me get my jackets off, we opened the windows and turned the air to cold. When we got to Prescott we stopped at Sonic and I got a Strawberry Slush thinking something sweet on my stomach might help. Well, we got home and made it to my bathroom just in time. However, I was not just sick at my stomach I was sick at both ends ( I know, Dave, TMI) but I need to tell this so will know why I fell. I think because it was coming from both ends I was losing too much fluid too fast and it caused my blood pressure to drop. So when I stood up, back down I went. I'm sure it will leave a mark. Also found out I have four disks in my lower back that have no cushion between them so I go to the nuero surgeon on the 30th. Same guy Shan used. So I have at least on reference for his work! Still no word on the autopsy for my friend's niece. My friend goes on the 28th to find out about her surgery for her heart. My plan was to go to Pittsburgh to be there for her heart surgery...now I have to wait and see what the doc says. Unless he can do something for a temporary fix there is no way I can sit on a plane that long. Heck, when I get up now Junior calls me Fred (Fred Sanford). So now Junior has four names for me....Darla, Bob, Mimi, and Fred - ya gotta love a guy like that! I must say I feel better getting all this out. Haven't been to therapy in a while and this is the next best thing. I'm going to ask Dave to put some pictures of Samuel on my blog so ya'll can see him.

Can we at least start out the new year w/o problems?

This is a rhetorical question. Because as everyone knows the answer is NO. My best friend's niece had out patient gall bladder surgery on a Friday. By 2:00 a.m. Sunday she was dead. We don't know why yet. Maybe she threw a clot - I don't know, but geez we only started into the new year. I knew that some time in February would be my friend's open heart surgery and I was preparing for that, but her niece at the age of 44 dying after out patient surgery. I know things happen for a reason and we don't always know the reason, at least not right away, but I have say I am sorta losing my patience here. Now this comes no where near Rhonda Lynn dying, however, for some reason my back has decided it has had enough. So...getting up and down is as bad as having root canal without benefit of some type of numbing. The muscle relaxers did not help, the pain pills have not helped so MRI here I come. Oh, and David goes to the dentist with a bad tooth. He didn't know how bad until he got to the dentist and was told he would need an oral surgeon to have the tooth removed. He does that this Friday. I go tomorrow to set the appointment for the MRI, Dave has his appointment with the oral surgeon on Friday, and Dorothy is having open heart surgery end of January or early February. I know....I know...no one said life was fair or easy, but sorry, I'm thinking my family- immediate and extended - deserve a break. I also know to be very careful what you wish for - you just may get it, but not in the way you intended. I personally have had that experience. With that said, and fingers crossed, would it be possible to have some time with no crisis. No one gets hurt, no one gets sick, no one dies. I know this is a poor me pity party, but ya know what?sometimes you just need one! I love you all. Please stay healthy, be careful driving, check you answers(that one's for Tyler and Emily), tell the people around you how much you love them and how much they mean to you. I love you all and I know I could not have made it this far without all of you. I am very thankful for that. Now, if we can just get this other stuff taken care I will feel a lot better. On a lighter note...I came late to the Boston Legal party - like the last three episodes late. Well, I really enjoyed the ones I did get to see, so for Christmas Dave and Shan got me Season One. I went on-line and ordered season 2, 3, 4, (5 is not out yet). So I have been having a grand time with my Boston Legal marathon! Thank you guys! It was a great gift. So I think I will end here and go to watch some more Boston Legal - hey it keeps off the streets!

Thank you all

I want to thank my family for making the holidays as easy as possible for me. It seems when we are all gathered together - like at meals - is when Jerry's absence is so obvious. I don't want to upset the kids so I will just come back to my house and let it out there. I know I spend a lot of time laying on the bed, but it is not always to sleep. Sometimes it's where I go for my private time to let my grief out. I have the best family and they are always the ones I count first when I count my blessings. I thank you for giving me the time and space that you do without judgement or disdain. Your understanding is what helps me make it through my days. I know I can go to Dave and Shan's any time I want and just hang out there and I do sometimes go down to their house. Sometimes the grief and the longing to have Jerry back is more than I can handle and that I want to do in private. So some of those times when you think I am sleeping I have really retreated to my bed to let my grief out by myself. Do I sometimes cry myself to sleep? YES. But I am always grateful for my family. All little girls, and big girls love their daddies, and I can see why Shan loves hers so much. Junior likes to tease me and give me a hard time and I know that is his way of showing me he cares about me and I love him for that and am so glad to have him in my life. He was the one I went to the day Jerry died and just took over. Made phone calls to get my family back home and stayed with me until they got there. I can still see me standing at his back door crying and telling him I needed help. He was out of his chair and over to me so fast I don't think his feet touched the floor. He literally carried me to the couch and started making calls to find people. I will never forget when he called Kay to tell her (she was in Little Rock at Linnie's) she asked to talk to me. Junior said "No she's very upset and she doesn't need to be talking on the phone." He was trying to protect me from becoming more upset by having to talk to someone on the phone. Well, I told him it was okay I would talk to Kay. But every time he had to make a call or someone called him he would take his cell phone outside so he wouldn't upset me even more. Poor guy, didn't think about him not hearing so well so he talks loud when he is on the phone and even though he was outside I could still hear him. But that is how far he went trying to protect me. So thank you, my family, for being such a blessing to me, for your love, and understanding. You are my life and I love each and every one of you more than you will ever know. All my love to the best family a person could be blessed to have. Mom/Darlene/Mimi