3 cheers for our truck drive, our truck drive, our truck driver

3 cheers for our truck driver. He's with us today! If you have been reading my blog you know that Brian and Carla are buying Dave and Shan's camper. Well on Saturday Dave hooked the camper up to his truck and off we went. Dave has only pulled the camper 4 times before and NEVER on the interstate. Now, there were times when he told us, afterwards, of some scary moments. Like when a truck passes it sucks the camper over to the fast line into the truck!. I, sitting in the back, was quite unaware of any of these problems and thought things were going very smoothly. But, Dave handled it like a Pro and we made it to the site. Set up - different matter. All the other times Dave has just pulled straight into the space and unhooked the camper. Not so lucky this time. This one was a back in. Do you know how confusing it is to turn the steering wheel the opposite way you want the camper to go? Add to that lots of trees and two huge rocks in the way. After more attempts than I care to remember finally the camper was in place! It is all set up. Brian and Carla are happy little campers - no pun intended - and I want to give a big cheer to our truck drive. He did a great job and I am very proud of him!! So, if ya need your camper backed into a spot Dave's your man! Great job, Dave. Your mom loves you!!!

It's Offical

Got home from school today and there was a message from my CNA instructor congratulating me on passing my test. I felt pretty sure I had cause when I finished the test the monitor was very positive and said I did fine, but ya never really know until it's official - well it is! So I should be getting my license in the mail soon. Now to decide what to do with it. Do I want to work a few hours in the nursing home or do I want to drive to Hope and work in the hospital. I prefer the hospital I just don't know if it's worth the drive. It's not like I will be doing it 5 days a week and the nursing homes work 8 hour shifts where the hospitals work 12 hours. Just something else to think about. At least it keeps me busy!

I'm in with the IN crowd!

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but the week end we came back from Little Rock my TV broke - picture tube gone. So since then I have been watching a small 13 inch I have in the back room until I could enough money to buy a new one. Well, Brian called to say he and Carla are coming down this week end to clean the camper they are buying from Dave AND since it won't fit in the camper they are giving me their big screen TV. How great is that!!! I told ya I have great kids!!!

My heart is with the State Board

Went to the cardio doc and I have a short circuit in my electrical wiring. For some reason at times instead of the electrical impulse doing what it should it gets stuck in a loop and that causes my heart rate to go from 70 to 95. So I am taking medication and hopefully that will take care of it. Doc has a partner that specializes in the electrical heart stuff and he will be calling me - hooray. I've been trying to take less pills and now I have a new one to take. Oh well, part of old age I guess! Did my State Board today and passed! The lady was much nicer this time - in fact she told our instructor, Judy, that she was too hard on us the first time. Of course things were not organized so there was a lot of running around looking for things! I had to do teeth brushing, blood pressure, and walking with a gait belt. I took my time and thought everything through before I said I was done with the skill so that helped. I had some much adrenaline going that I tightened the valve on the blood pressure cuff so tight I could not loosen it when I was trying to get a reading. So I had to stop and start again, but the monitor said that it will come with practice and it was no big deal! Yea!!! Only other thing going on is Brian and Carla are going to buy Dave's camper. So that helps him and them! They bought Jerry's car when he died and it has worked out great for me. Thank heavens for great kids! and I sure have two great ones!!

one down one hundred eighty nine to go

First day of school! It went very well. I think since Jill and I know what to expect and Jill knew what materials to order for us for the year they are going to make a huge difference. The kids seem great and Jill and I are much more relaxed this year and I think that will reflect on the kids. I am trying very hard to not give too much help so Jill can ascertain exactly what they know and what they need help in. Coming home today was much easier than it was this time last year so all my supporters were right. It does get a little easier with time. I know there will be things I want to share with Jerry - like how well today went and how good I feel about the year - and that makes it hard not having him here. I go to the cardio doc tomorrow for the results of all my tests. I am not expecting any problems so my being radioactive may have been for naught. But better safe than sorry I guess. Dave won a "gift bag" from some tech thing and in the bag is the neatest print of Terry Bradshaw - which means nothing except to us Pittsburgh people. Tyler and Emily both seemed to have good first days. I pray with everything I have it continues. Especially for my Tyler. So if you're listening God could ya lend him a hand please? I will post the heart results tomorrow so stay tuned!

And so it begins

Tomorrow starts the first day of school for the kids. We have been in school all week in work shops, but tomorrow the kids come. Seems like I was just covering all the stuff in the room for the summer and now here it is. The room ready again for the kids to come. Emily to 1st grade, Tyler to 8th. Where does the time go. It will be a big week. First day of school, Tuesday get my heart test results and Wednesday take the State Board ....again. This will be my second school year without Jerry and I miss him now as much as I did then. Will it be easier to come home with no one here? I don't know. I know it was very hard last year. But, with chin up and smile on my face I will go forward and do the best I can!

Got the word

Got the word I will be taking the State Board on Wednesday, August 20th. Good thoughts, please! I see the cardio doc on Tuesday the 19th and will find out about all my tests then. So it will be a big week. Monday first day back to school for the kids (we've been there all this week), cardio doc on Tuesday and State Board on Wednesday! Whew - I'm tired already!! I have noticed that my anxiety level has gone up the last few days.Jerry is always on my mind, but last couple of days it has been constant and the missing him the last few days has been almost unbearable. I came past the cemetery today on my way back from Wal Mart and just broke down crying as I drove past. That has not happened in a while. I don't think there is a rhyme or reason for it to be so strong now it just is. Maybe so many things going on and no one to really share it with. School starting, the TV breaking, going to the cardio doc and the State Board. Everyone is so busy with school starting and all that involves I may just be feeling sorry for myself and I need to stop that. There are people with much worse problems than I have. So keep good thoughts! I appreciate them!

Glowing

Well today was the day for the BIG stress test. First get an IV - into that they inject Isotope and put me in a machine that moves around your body about 1/2 inch every 2 minutes - so this takes some time. Once that is done off we go to the stress lab. There they hook me up to all the monitors and put me on the tread mill. Every 3 minutes the tread mill goes faster and inclines so you are walking at a fast pace up hill. While this is going on they are taking your blood pressure, monitoring your heart rate, and injecting you with more Isotope. My goal was to get my heart rate up from 56 where we started to 136. I went to 132 and that was as far as I could go. So they slowly stop the tread mill. Unhook me from all the wires and take me back to radiology where I have to get into the machine again and have it move around my body taking pictures of my heart. This entire process takes 5 hours. Once done they had me a piece of paper that states I am now radioactive. I am giving off radiation. For 24 hours do not go near pregnant women - okay we have 3 teachers at school that are pregnant and stay away from small children as this may cause them to have reproductive problems in the future. So on the way back to school I call Shan and give her the low down so she can spread the word and explain to Emily why Mimi can't hug her. I see the cardiologist next week for the results of all these tests - so stay tuned. Other than not being able to hug Emily was the fact that I could not go to the school's open house tonight since all my kids would want to hug me and I would want to hug them back. Had I known all this before I would have scheduled the tests for another time. Oh well - live and learn! Here is one to ponder - if I am capable of causing harm to others because of the radioactivity what is it doing to me since it's in my body????UUUMMMMM

Another day - another dollar- where is that $600

You will remember from a previous post I learned I would be receiving $600 a month from Social Security and I was taking it and going to Disney World. And I did and had a great time. Guess what I'm doing with this months $600!!! Read on and find out!! We had our last hurrah weekend in Little Rock. Got our room on the same side of the hotel as last year so we could look out of our window and see when the Krispy Kreme sign was on. Out the door like a flash, we were, to get those HOT FRESH donuts! Man, they were good! We got there early enough on Friday that we were able to do the teacher stores, eat, and go for a swim. Saturday we did the clothes shopping part of the trip. Got back to the hotel and Dave and Tyler went out to get food. Long John Silvers! Don't get that often and it was good! Sunday we got up and took Tyler to Linnie's to spend a few days and then home we came. Got home unpacked, made some tea, just your general junk then lo and behold no picture on my TV. Sound, but no picture. Call Dave. Come fix my TV. Dave comes. Dave says - shoot the TV. It's a goner. So until I get a new one I will be in the back room watching the little 13" one - hey at least I have one to watch!! Had my echo cardiogram done today. Found out I have leaking valves. He also asked me if I had high blood pressure. I never have, but he saw something that made him ask and he asked if I ever smoked, no never have, he asked was I around smokers. Yea, growing up. Amazing what you can find out by looking at your heart! So I have this annoying heart monitor on until tomorrow when I go for the stress test. I'm sure there will be stress. The darn tests cost over $6,000 and I had to pay 10% of that. Over $600 and with a smile the lady asked "Would you like to pay that today or tomorrow?" And so now you know what I'm doing with this months $600. So I'll keep ya posted on what develops. Please note money amounts are in green!!

Here's your sign!

I think it was Bill Engvall that started the saying - but it sure applies a lot of time. When you take 8 pills a day - and these aren't the ones I take for anxiety - these are the ones that keep me going all day. Now that does include some I have to take twice a day like - my Amitiza (I'd tell ya what it's for but, Dave would say WOA TMI (too much information) and my Metoprolol - which is for my heart. Anyway I was sitting and putting some scripts (see how cool I sound writing scripts) I had filled into a pill container that has the days of the week and if it's AM or PM. Anyway as I am doing this I think to myself - self are you getting old. I mean so many pills just to keep going on through the day

wait for it....here it comes.....Here's Your Sign!

Now in all fairness to me I have to say I asked the doctor about starting to wean off some of this stuff and he told me research shows (kathie Janes would be so proud - inside joke for Shan) I should be on these meds for 2 years.

Shan and the kids went for hair cuts today (all of them - before you ask that dumb question). Emily rode with me and I don't know how we got on the subject of age..oh I know she asked me if she still looked 5. I told her NO she looks at least 22. She said really 22 cool! Well, then we start to talk about my age I tell her I am 60 and she says in kinda of small voice I have a grandmother that is 60??? She sounded a little disappointed to find out I was so old. Then we talked about marriage and getting a house. She wants her house to have stairs. I asked her if she was going to get married and how many children did she want to have. First she said 1. I said only 1 child. Then she no, maybe none at all - just a house with stairs. I truly wish everyone that reads my blog was able to interact with Emily on a regular bases. She is a joy to be around. She truly is going on 22. I don't think I have ever heard a child of her age with the amount of vocabulary she has, and her facial expressions and body movements when she talks are so cute it almost makes ya want to slap your momma - I don't know where they came from. I think it's Junior's influence on me! And don't get me started on my Tyler. What a handsome young man he has become. He's lost the cute little boy look and now is a tall handsome young man! He has not change from when he was young though. He is still sensitive, caring, and loving. Not many 13 year olds would kiss there grandmother in public or just walk up to ya and put an arm around you. He seems to sense things. When I am feeling kinda low, but haven't told anyone - some how he knows and will come up and ask - need a hug. I say always from you! And when ever I take them some where like the water park he always thanks me for taking them. What a fine young man he is and I am soooo proud of them both - just in case you couldn't tell! So I will take my sign and slink off into the night thinking - I am not old - because taking a few pills on a temporary basis does NOT make you old. It is great to have family to love and that love you! What a wonderful world. There is song by that title. I think Louie Armstrong sang it. - with skies of blue and grass of green bright yellow somethings. And I say to myself what a wonderful world. Oh Yeah!!!

Happy Birthday, Dad

Dear Dad,

Today is August 1st. and your birthday. You were born in 1925 - you would be 83 today. I can't believe you would be 83 today. You died 10 years ago this October. We had put mom in a nursing home and you were coming home from visiting her - actually you were on your way to Bill's house to eat and hang out when you were hit by a truck You lived for a week after the accident, in ICU the entire time. We had one "good" day that we thought was going to be a turn around for you, but it didn't last. When it came time for visiting in the ICCU and they come to the door and say all families can come in except the Quillen family you know things are not good. We came to find out later your heart was stopping and they working very hard to keep it going. Lots of us slept in the waiting room - the worst place in the world to try and spend a night. The night you died - early morning really - was one of the worst nights of my life, but you know what? I would not give it up for anything. It was a difficult decision to have them stop all they were doing to keep you alive and realize there were so many things wrong that eventually even that was not going to work. So we made the painful decision to have them stop all the mass medications they were pushing. We never had to "turn off" any machines - just stop the meds. We got to talk to you for the 20 or 30 minutes it took for your heart to actually stop. I was amazed at how fast it went. But, I got to tell you all the things I wanted you to know. How much I love you, what a wonderful dad you were, how proud of you I was for what you stood for and for all the important things you passed onto me and taught me by just being yourself. So Dad, where ever you are, take care of Jerry - I'm sure you and he are going some of your famous 15 minute jobs! And I know you are still taking care of Mum, like you always did. I love you, Dad, and Happy Birthday - I miss you every day! Love always, Darlene PS. Have a Bud for me and ah about the Jimmy Hendrix tape - sorry about that. Some how his tape got in Patsy Cline's tape holder. But, I'm sure since Jerry is there now he has been able to show you the finer points of the Jimmy Hendrix style and you have a greater appreciation for his music. Riiiiight!!!