Never too old to learn

This is an old saying, but oh so true! Today I learned what I DON'T want to do and that is work in a nursing home. Not on a regular bases anyway. Since Jerry died I have been looking - half heartily - for a second job. When the opportunity to take the CNA class came up I thought this is great. They will pay me to go to school and I will learn a second trade for another job. Well, today was my first day of clinical, now that may have something to do with it BUT we will have to wait and see. I will say I did not stay in the hall I was assigned the whole time. I went looking for things to do to help people so actually working in a nursing home may be different in that respect. All I know is when I got home at 3:00 I talked to my best friend Dorothy for a few minuets and then went and laid on the bed and that is the last thing I remember until I woke up at 6:15 - missed Tyler's last game in Springhill - they did great - Tyler hit an in the park home run and the a triple and Emily's last game. So all in all in was a sucky day. Found out I don't want to work in a nursing - or be put in one - and missed my kids last games of the year. What a horrible MImi I am!! I will make it up to them some way. Haven't missed a game all year and then go and miss the last ones! I am so ticked at myself I could ........I don't know what, but I could.

A year since surgery

A year ago this June 12th I had major surgery. All my kids were there, Dave, Shan, Tyler, Emily, Brian, Carla, Kay all of them to see me through it. You have no idea how much it means to have your family there for you. Brian and Carla stayed with me the first night in the hospital and from then on it was Dave, Shan, and Emily. Every day and every night. Never leaving me alone. Then Carla came back and stayed a few more days with me until I was discharged to go home Brian came to my house and stayed with for a week -only they sent me home much too soon as we realized later- but when all the set backs happened there was Dave and Shan again at my bedside. One of the things I will never forget is how Shan - with her weak stomach and all - stayed with me while they put the third NG tube down my nose and throat. Dave was there for the first one and stepped out of the room for the second. Yes, she was hidden under a jacket, but her hand was out holding onto mine the whole time. You don't always find people like that and I am so lucky to have them in my family. Thank you Shan for doing things for me that I know are difficult for you to watch or hear. Like me heaving my guts out into a bucket at the hospital, and there stood Shan - who will throw up right along side of you - staying with me to help. These are my heroes! I hope you all have heroes in your life and that they are part of your family like mine are. Thank you one and all. I love you all dearly!!!

Well, Virginia, there are some not so good people

If you read my blog yesterday you know I lost my wallet at school. Cancelled everything and got a new driver's license only to get a call around 2:00 my wallet had been turned in. So I went to school this morning early to retrieve my wallet. Oh, I got the wallet alright. But that's all I got. Everything in it was taken, except my school ID - my credit cards, debit card, and Wal-Mart gift cards. Now one only had about $5.00 on it no biggie, the other one didn't have anything on it except the cutest picture of Tyler and Emily and was the one I used when I got gas at Wal-Mart to get the 3 cents off a gallon. So I don't know if the person that turned in the wallet took the stuff before it got turned in or if it was found after the stuff was taken. However it happened, it happened quick. I mean it was not 3 minutes from when I left the classroom until I got to the library and realized it was gone and went searching for it. And it was not all the money I have in the world, but right now every penny is important to me. You know if you have had anything taken you get that violated feeling. So once I get over that I will be fine. Sure wish I had the Wal-Mart card with the kid's pictures though!! LESSON LEARNED - DON"T BE IN SUCH A HURRY YOU DON'T MAKE SURE THINGS ARE SECURED!!! If I had put the wallet back and zipped the compart, like I should have, none of this would have happened.

Yes, Virginia, there are good people

I received a telephone call about 2:00 this afternoon from the college. Some kind soul has turned in my wallet. I can pick it up tomorrow at the student center. I hope this person has left a name so I may contact them in person to express my gratitude for their kindness. Unless you have lost something of value, be it monetary or sentimental, you have no idea the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. So to the person that turned in my wallet I say a huge THANK YOU and if ever I can return a favor just let me know. They say one good deed deserves another. I will go out of my way to make sure this good deed leads to another good deed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sometimes you just want to scream

This is my fault. I was careless and in a hurry. Needed my college ID for my test today. I keep it in my wallet behind my driver's license. So I took it out, put my ID on the form, put the ID back in the wallet, and put the wallet back in my purse. Only thing, I was in such a hurry to get started on the test I didn't zip the compartment where my wallet goes. Finish my test, get up and put it on the instructor's desk, gather my things and head for the library. When I get there I realize I don't have my wallet. I walk back to the building where my class is, making sure to take the same route, back up to the class room - no wallet. Checked in with student services, but no one has turned in a wallet. So now I get a new driver's license, stop my bank debit card, call for new Health Insurance card, new Social Security card, and report my credit card lost. Now all these things are replaceable and really not a big deal, just an inconvenience. BUT - the pictures I had, along with my mom's, dad's and Jerry's obituaries can not be replaced. Lesson learned - nothing - nothing is worth being in that much of a hurry for. If by some chance when I go to school tomorrow and one of my class mates has picked it up and has it to return to me I will be eternally grateful. Right now I am heart sick over losing the things I can not replace because I was in such a hurry to get to the library to have my CNA ID made! Sometimes you just want to scream!!

Thank you

I live in a very unique situation. How it happened it a long story so I'm going to give you the facts mam' just the facts.(for you young people that is from an old TV show - Dragnet) I live in a mobile home next door to Shan's mom and dad (Shan is married to my oldest son, David). Dave and Shan live in a double wide behind her mom and dad. So we all share the same yard and driveway. When Jerry was alive he always mowed our part of the lawn. Since he died either Shan or her dad cut my grass and David does the week eating. I always thank them and that's okay, but somethings need more than just a personal Thank You...they need a public Thank You. So here it is to David, Shan and Junior -THANK YOU!!! I don't know what I would do without you. I am blessed in so may ways. I have wonderful children and grandchildren, not to mention my great neighbors. Thank you one and all. I know Jerry is in heaven right now saying to Shan - "You go girl, one of the perks of being dead is no more grass cutting!" To those of you that didn't know Jerry many think this statement odd, but if you knew Jerry like we now Jerry - that is from a song - you would be at this moment shaking your head yes and laughing. It would be so him.

This is diffferent

Up until now when I think of Jerry - which is all the time - it is always. always, the great things we did and the great things he is missing. For some reason when I went to bed the other night instead of the usual crying, missing him, and not understanding any of it I began to think of some of things we went through that were not so great. It was not always a good marriage. Married people I know have their ups and downs, but I think we had quite a few. I don't know that I want to put this out there for everyone to read, but since this to help me I will. In our 38 years of marriage Jerry wanted a divorce 3 times. Each time he stayed. Those three times were HELL. One time was when I was taking care of my bed ridden mother and we were living with her and my dad so I could care for her, I found him on the computer e-mailing a girl - he tried to tell me he was doing this for our son, Brian. I knew better. When it finally came out, yes it is a girl he is communicating with on the Internet. He does not want to stay at my parents home while I take care of my mom. I couldn't believe he was asking me to make a choice between him and my bed ridden mother. He was. I realized that night as I lay thinking about this, I am still angry at him for asking me to choose between them. As it turned out my mom had to go to a nursing home as her condition deteriorated and she began having sever bleeding spells I could not handle at home. So Jerry and I wound up moving back to our home in Prescott. What would have happened if my mother's condition did not deteriate and I would have had to make a choice?? I wonder if I am moving into a different stage of grieving? Something I will ask my therapist.