Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Therapy is a wonderful tool
As I have stated in my previous blogs I am a believer in therapy when needed, and boy did I need it after Jerry died and the whole surgery and back and forth to the hospital thing. It has helped me in more ways than I can say. I had a session yesterday and for the first time I was able to get through the entire session without crying. A big accomplishment for me. Last year at this time I never thought I would get to this place. But, here I am. Thank heavens for my family - they keep me just crazy enough to keep me sane if you know what I mean. Thank heavens for the opportunity to attend the CNA classes - they kept me busy and focused on something other than myself. I no longer see my bed as a place of refuse, but as a place to sleep and sometimes ponder the days events and that's okay. I had a wonderful time at Disney World, thanks again to my kids for dragging me along and putting up with my "problems" of needing a bathroom, and they didn't really drag me along. I wanted to go and I know they wanted me to go. I have so many blessings to focus on now. Last year at this time I could not see any blessings in my life and never thought I would get to this point. People told me I would - I didn't believe them. How could the pain and sorrow I was feeling ever lessen enough to allow me to function in any normal way. Well I have gotten to that point, all the people were right and - not that I ever really functioned in a "normal" way I am functioning in a normal a way as possible for someone with OCD and GAD. My children - and that includes my daughter-in-laws, and my grandchildren are the joy of my life. They are the reason I can smile every day. So, if you are just at the beginning of experiencing a loss, let the experience happen at it's own pace, don't let any one tell you there is a right way or a wrong way there is only your way and my hope and wish for you is that you too will come out on the other side and be able to count your blessings just as I have. Since I am beginning to feel like a regular person again (I will always miss Jerry and the hole in my heart will always be there) my blog may take on a different feel and I may blog "what ever pops into my head" - sorry Dave, stole your theme there! However, if you feel the need to comment on a loss you are experiencing and need some feedback or just a shoulder to lean on, by all means I am here for that. I see my therapy coming to end in the very near future, but I will always be here for anyone that needs that someone with a shared experience.
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2 comments:
Yes, Yes. Please keep posting. I am sure there will be times that something hits you and makes you cry. I still have it with thoughts of Daddy. When that happens, just post your way through it. I found that writing helped me cope. Of course, we didn't have blogs 10 years ago, so I wrote in a notebook. With each page dated and time stamped, I sometimes take it out and flip through to see what I was feeling and thinking. Now I can smile at the memories and thoughts. It's pretty cool. The entries have gotten few and far between over these 10 years though, but once in a while, I still jot down a thought or two.
At first, it was everyday. Then every few days, one a week, a couple times a month till it got to where it might be almost a year between entries. My last few entries were when Jerry died, when I got back from Arkansas, the ninth anniversary of the accident, and the anniversary of Jerry's dying. Jut to give you an idea.....
Se how that works? No one can tell you what's going to happen because you have to go through it on your own. But, I knew you would come to this place in YOUR own time. There will always be things that trigger memories, and there is nothing wrong with that. I hope you keep on posting, even if that means you create a second blog with a different title or you post to this one and keep the title. Either way, we're glad you're posting and you are getting back to 'normal' such as it is for our family.. :-)
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